![\"\"\/](\"https:\/\/static.wixstatic.com\/media\/d3ed71dece3f5f5e03508bef944e7953.jpg\/v1\/fill\/w_297,h_198,al_c,q_80,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01\/d3ed71dece3f5f5e03508bef944e7953.webp\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nNo matter what you think of your partner, the two of you are more likely to make a better decision on who gets the children than the Judge hearing your case. Pretty shocking, right? Well, don\u2019t be so surprised! The Judge doesn\u2019t know you, your partner or your children from a hole in the wall. Sure, the court will hear testimony about who has historically been the primary parent and which one of you the children are most closely bound. And no doubt the court will weigh heavily which partner is more likely to provide a stable home and encourage good relations between the children and the other parent. But can you really expect the Judge to get that decision right when all she sees are two well-dressed people on their best behavior? Particularly when both their testimonies have been coached for weeks \u2026 If you are not afraid the court will make the \u201cwrong\u201d decision, you should be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I always tell my clients that one of the most important things necessary for a child to flourish and be happy is to have the support and love from both parents. That requires that you put your feelings in check and work together as parents to raise your children. After all, there was a time when you felt your partner was \u201cgood enough\u201d to have a child with, right? So, try and work with each other to work out a time-sharing schedule that is best for the children. That may mean sharing time equally. Typically, that\u2019s broken down into weekly segments with one parent having the children for 7 consecutive days with \u201cpick-up\u201d by the other parent at a pre-determined time and place. It can be ideal if both parents get along well and are \u201cadult-enough\u201d to put their feelings aside and focus on the children\u2019s well-being. Mediation can help the parties\u2019 work together to work out a parenting plan that works best for the children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There\u2019s also a pragmatic reason why equal time sharing may be an acceptable alternative to fighting it out in court. Let me explain. Okay, the court has awarded you with \u201cprimary custody\u201d [we don\u2019t actually call it that nowadays but anyhow \u2026]. What does that really mean. Basically, it means that as \u201cprimary parent\u201d you will have weekdays and every other weekend with holidays and summers essentially being split equally. The court may \u201ctweak\u201d the schedule a bit, but in terms of time, it amounts to about 60% of the year with your children. Obviously, that means the other parent has the rest of the year \u2013 somewhere around 40% of the year [again, depending on how much \u201ctweaking\u201d takes place]. If you actually compare the days over the course of the year, the \u201cprimary parent\u201d at most gets about 40 extra days than the \u201csecondary parent.\u201d Well, think about this: If time-sharing was equal, you would both get approximately 180 days per year, right? So, if we go from \u201cstandard\u201d to \u201cequal\u201d visitation, the \u201cprimary parent\u201d is only \u201cgiving up\u201d about 40 days and the \u201csecondary parent\u201d is only \u201cgetting\u201d an additional 40 days \u2026 I bet you very few attorneys that you consult with will point out this point!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
![\"\"\/](\"https:\/\/static.wixstatic.com\/media\/c46554abad064a16815b986296eaf499.jpg\/v1\/fill\/w_284,h_189,al_c,q_80,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01\/c46554abad064a16815b986296eaf499.webp\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nAsk yourself this question: Are your differences with the other parent so insurmountable that it \u201cpays\u201d to spend the college fund to battle over 40 days? And if your relationship is in trouble now, just imagine what it will be like after the court rules in your favor and now the other parent feels that it is all your fault and that you are responsible for \u201cdestroying\u201d his relationship with the children. Do you really think the chances of co-parenting just went up? Hardly! All that\u2019s been accomplished is turning someone who could have been a partner in raising the children into a permanent enemy. I wonder just how many times the two of you will battle in court over the years trying to settle the score \u2026 How do you think that works out for your children?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I hope that this blog has been of some help. I certainly know professionally and personally what its like to deal with painful issues like child visitation and time-sharing. And don\u2019t even get me started on child support! Ugh!!! I\u2019m here for you. In the last 25 years, I\u2019ve handled thousands of family law cases ranging from complex trials involving alimony, distribution of marital and non-marital assets and debts, child custody and child support to simplified actions that are settled out of court and involve just a short five-minute hearing before the court. Either way, I\u2019m happy to help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Just call our office at 561-255-9350 for your free consult. If you want to learn more about our firm and our divorce practice, just check out our website at Kranzlawfirm.com<\/a>. For an objective take on our firm, with plenty of client reviews, go to Avvo.com<\/a>. Its a legal website that rates attorneys and allows clients to weigh-in with their own experience. We have no control over the content.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Best of luck!<\/p>\n[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3935,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"\n Its a hard decision. Who get\u2019s the children. It doesn\u2019t matter if you at married or not. When the relationship is \u201cover\u201d, you need to figure out what\u2019s in the best interests of the children. What makes it doubly-hard is that you are probably not thinking as clearly as you should. Pain and frustration doesn\u2019t mix well with logic and rational thought. That\u2019s for sure!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here are few things that I\u2019ve learned over the last 25 years:<\/p>\n\n\n\n No matter what you think of your partner, the two of you are more likely to make a better decision on who gets the children than the Judge hearing your case. Pretty shocking, right? Well, don\u2019t be so surprised! The Judge doesn\u2019t know you, your partner or your children from a hole in the wall. Sure, the court will hear testimony about who has historically been the primary parent and which one of you the children are most closely bound. And no doubt the court will weigh heavily which partner is more likely to provide a stable home and encourage good relations between the children and the other parent. But can you really expect the Judge to get that decision right when all she sees are two well-dressed people on their best behavior? Particularly when both their testimonies have been coached for weeks \u2026 If you are not afraid the court will make the \u201cwrong\u201d decision, you should be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I always tell my clients that one of the most important things necessary for a child to flourish and be happy is to have the support and love from both parents. That requires that you put your feelings in check and work together as parents to raise your children. After all, there was a time when you felt your partner was \u201cgood enough\u201d to have a child with, right? So, try and work with each other to work out a time-sharing schedule that is best for the children. That may mean sharing time equally. Typically, that\u2019s broken down into weekly segments with one parent having the children for 7 consecutive days with \u201cpick-up\u201d by the other parent at a pre-determined time and place. It can be ideal if both parents get along well and are \u201cadult-enough\u201d to put their feelings aside and focus on the children\u2019s well-being. Mediation can help the parties\u2019 work together to work out a parenting plan that works best for the children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s also a pragmatic reason why equal time sharing may be an acceptable alternative to fighting it out in court. Let me explain. Okay, the court has awarded you with \u201cprimary custody\u201d [we don\u2019t actually call it that nowadays but anyhow \u2026]. What does that really mean. Basically, it means that as \u201cprimary parent\u201d you will have weekdays and every other weekend with holidays and summers essentially being split equally. The court may \u201ctweak\u201d the schedule a bit, but in terms of time, it amounts to about 60% of the year with your children. Obviously, that means the other parent has the rest of the year \u2013 somewhere around 40% of the year [again, depending on how much \u201ctweaking\u201d takes place]. If you actually compare the days over the course of the year, the \u201cprimary parent\u201d at most gets about 40 extra days than the \u201csecondary parent.\u201d Well, think about this: If time-sharing was equal, you would both get approximately 180 days per year, right? So, if we go from \u201cstandard\u201d to \u201cequal\u201d visitation, the \u201cprimary parent\u201d is only \u201cgiving up\u201d about 40 days and the \u201csecondary parent\u201d is only \u201cgetting\u201d an additional 40 days \u2026 I bet you very few attorneys that you consult with will point out this point!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ask yourself this question: Are your differences with the other parent so insurmountable that it \u201cpays\u201d to spend the college fund to battle over 40 days? And if your relationship is in trouble now, just imagine what it will be like after the court rules in your favor and now the other parent feels that it is all your fault and that you are responsible for \u201cdestroying\u201d his relationship with the children. Do you really think the chances of co-parenting just went up? Hardly! All that\u2019s been accomplished is turning someone who could have been a partner in raising the children into a permanent enemy. I wonder just how many times the two of you will battle in court over the years trying to settle the score \u2026 How do you think that works out for your children?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I hope that this blog has been of some help. I certainly know professionally and personally what its like to deal with painful issues like child visitation and time-sharing. And don\u2019t even get me started on child support! Ugh!!! I\u2019m here for you. In the last 25 years, I\u2019ve handled thousands of family law cases ranging from complex trials involving alimony, distribution of marital and non-marital assets and debts, child custody and child support to simplified actions that are settled out of court and involve just a short five-minute hearing before the court. Either way, I\u2019m happy to help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Just call our office at 561-255-9350 for your free consult. If you want to learn more about our firm and our divorce practice, just check out our website at Kranzlawfirm.com<\/a>. For an objective take on our firm, with plenty of client reviews, go to Avvo.com<\/a>. Its a legal website that rates attorneys and allows clients to weigh-in with their own experience. We have no control over the content.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Best of luck!<\/p>\n"},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kranzlawfirm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3934"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kranzlawfirm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kranzlawfirm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kranzlawfirm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kranzlawfirm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3934"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/kranzlawfirm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3934\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4523,"href":"https:\/\/kranzlawfirm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3934\/revisions\/4523"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kranzlawfirm.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3935"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kranzlawfirm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3934"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kranzlawfirm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3934"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kranzlawfirm.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3934"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n